Local Revision: Pronoun Usage

In this blog post, I will be analyzing the pronouns I used in my Draft.

Honsvu. "Demonstrative Pronoun" Uploaded 3/20/2014 via wikimedia. Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike

1. I am not particularly fond of my use of pronouns in my draft. I do a fairly good job in the first part of my paper in using a variety of pronouns, but at the end, I use a lot more. I do this because I need to, because I want to convey my message to my audience concisely, but unfortunately, that takes away from the flow of the paper.

2. I only speak to my audience once, when I am relating the experiences of the officials to the possible experience of the audience member. I am not a huge fan of what I did here, but I want it to stay in order to involve my reader. I am not sure as to how effective this is, but I think it should work.